News & Events

On March 20^th 2003, I was sat onboard  H.M.S  Ark Royal in anticipation of the News that we would invade Iraq. Up until that point there had been much speculation as to whether or not we would go in and the media where misleading the public as always.

It was about tea time when  Captain Cockface  (not his real name) came into our cabin and gave us the order that we had to write our last letters.

This is a letter a loved one receives after their Husband / Dad/ Son has died in battle.  As you can imagine they contain some pretty compelling messages.

I don’t have my letter now, but as I was young free and single it didn’t really contain much, I think I wrote that I wanted Another  Dimension by Beasty Boys to be sang at my funeral with my Grandma leading the choir, that and I wished all my family well, and thanked them for doing such an outstanding job in raising me.

All these years later, I got to thinking about what I would write now.

The beauty of a letter is it allows you to say things that you may not have the courage to say in a face to face conversation. Also by writing things down you can edit and articulate in a way that gets your points across more clearly.

In the last week I have become a father for the 3^rd time, my life has upped an ante, I have even more mouths to feed, more responsibility, I need to offer more help in sharing my duties as a Parent,  and I have to keep cool through it all, because my family and clients deserve that.

So here is what I would write now, if this was my last letter, to be read by all my loved ones when I pass this mortal coil.  This is straight from my heart and I hope it resonates with a few people.  I would love to hear what YOUR last letter would be.

My Last Letter

Dear Loved ones,

Now I am gone you can no longer delight in my witty conversation, engage in intellectual debate, with me or stare for hours at my beautiful face. Truly the world has lost a goodun, at least I hope so, I hope my life made a difference in some way.

Right now I am being eaten alive by worms, they are crawling in every orifice of my body ( its not as cool as it sounds) and munching away at the eyes I used to stare at you with, the brain I used to use to think up witty Facebook comments and even the heart that held so much secret affection for Judy Finegan is now being devoured by insects.

I’m sorry if this thought disgust you in any way, its just that I wanted my last letter to be frank and honest, as I hope my life was.

You see this end, is coming to you too, and my kids, and everyone who reads this. Unless of course you choose to have your body set on fire.

Eithor way, my point is, don’t be in a rush to get here.  In fact don’t be in a rush at all. When I was alive I noticed far too many people rushing around.  As you can see  here and here ( these are fricking awesome examples BTW so check them out)  being in a such a rush all the time makes you less caring, less appreciative and in my experience being in a rush causes us to get angry and snappy more. It makes our work poorer quality and it renders us less effective.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have deadlines or work hard, I love all that, but we need to take time out, enjoy the moments, especially this moment right now, and the next one, because it is a perpetual moment and its all you will ever have.

Many people think our best moments are birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions. When you can make an everyday task like sweeping the floor your best moment, then you have mastered all you need to know in life.

Being dead is pretty cool though. I’m not trying to sell it or anything but put it this way, you know that stuff that’s bothering you right now, those money worries, that argument with other half, the court order being processed to stop you from being within 1000 yards of Judy Finegan.

Well none of that matters any more. When your dead it all just kind of gets forgotten about. Even better is that nobody cares anymore how beautiful/ funny/ intelligent etc you are.

Of course, since this is going to happen to you anyway, why not enjoy life right now with all of this stuff out the way?

I mean in all honesty most of the stuff we get stressed about isn’t life or death. More often than not we get worked up about shit that just doesn’t mean anything. When we do this we shorten our life. Both actually ( as this study proves) and in the sense that we are missing out on fun by spending needless time stressing.

I suppose my overall message to those I leave behind will be this.

Love yourself

This may sound soppy, I don’t care. Love is cool, its powerful, and only strong people can open themselves up to it and reap the benefits.

The more you love, the happier you will be, but it all has to start with you. Unless you Love yourself, you will struggle to love anybody else. It all starts, and ends, with YOU!

This means respecting yourself, giving yourself good food, moving your body, living you life in a loving way entails plenty of relaxation.

To keep things brief and to the point I shall make the remainder of my last words in bullet points

• Be in touch with emotion- life is full of them to be experienced
  • Everyone feels low sometimes, everyone cries, its ok just go with it, you’ll get through.
  • Never be too proud to admit when you are wrong, in fact, just let go of needing to right all together, nobody cares what you think until they know you care ( this bullet point was sponsored by babybell cheese)
  • Fear is a prison that will keep you locked up from enjoying great stuff, push your comfort zone, question  what you can do, and what’s possible.
  • The things you do whilst angry will mostly be the stuff you regret, anger will take years of your life and life out of your years, it will age you, weaken you, kill brain cells and poison everyone around you.
  • Letting go of anger involves a lot of forgiveness.
  • It’s ok to desire tons of great stuff, so long as you don’t need it, and so long as you appreciate what you have right now.
  • You can find your happiness by helping others find theirs, this is the best way I have found it J
  • Laugh as much as possible, whenever possible, especially at yourself
  • Believe in yourself, unless you have that you have nothing, you can do a lot more than you realize.
  • Love is the most powerful thing in the world, learn to allow it in your life.
  • Be truthful about where you are heading, not a single person on the cardio ward expected to be there, but heart disease was always going to happen with their habits and lifestyle, and even people who find out they have lung cancer are often genuinely surprised. This shit CAN and Does happen, and it CAN happen to you.
  • Realize this, there is a hell of a lot more we don’t know, than we know.
  • Don’t cling too strongly to your opinions, the ones you have when your 16 will be very different to the ones that you have when you 30
  • Complaining about stuff never solves it.
  • When you speak bad of others, its you who looks the fool.
  • The excuses you give will always limit you, circumstances can be tough for everyone, but everyone is capable of over coming them  ( I know how patronising that sounds, and I know there is more to it, but trust me that this is probably true in about 90% of your life)
  • If you ever become a Personal Trainer in Hull make sure that when you write Articles you include the phrase Personal Trainer Hull wherever you can, as it improves your google rankings!!
  • Never be afraid to get stuff wrong, mistakes are where we learn, and we WILL keep repeating them until we do learn, life has a funny way of teaching us.
  • The opinion you have of YOU is probably what others think too.
  • This last one is about being a man, I have gone down many routes with this, from notches on bed post , how much I could drink, how many fights I have had etc, I have boxed in the ring, sometimes for money, I have worked the doors for 10 years, I have been to War, engaged in a gun battle, driving into the middle of a live mine field and stolen my wifes last Rolo. I didn’t need to do any of that however, I just needed to be myself.

In closing I say good luck with your life! It’s quite an adventure!